One Morning In The Office Part 10

One Morning In The Office Part 10 is a satire produced several years ago. The thread about the Twitter/X feed of @realDonaldTrump first appeared and formed part of Goodreads’ full comments.

Zoom Video Conference – hacked recording…

Vlad: “Are we all here?”

Xi: “Yes Comrade Chairman, I mean friend.”

Assad: “Where’s Kim?”

Xi: “He’s on mute again”

Vlad: “Permanently?”

Xi: “No one knows.”

Don: “Hey Xi, like the hat and full protective face mask – I thought the fake virus was over in China?”

Xi: “It is but I like wearing it Don, I see you have your usual baseball cap.”

Don: “It’s a great hat for a great…”

Vlad: “Stop the crap about hats everyone. This is serious.”

Group: “Sorry Vlad…”

Assad: “But Vlad you told us to get hew hats.”

Vlad: “Assad you numbskull I said a new hard hat for the air raids next week.”

Assad: “What air raids?”

Vlad: “The ones Erdogan is arranging .”

Assad: “But we are all friends now.”

Vlad: “We have to keep COVID off the news.”

Don: “Fake news.”

Vlad: “Not now Don.”

Don: “Sorry Vlad.”

Vlad: “Agenda gentlemen agenda and don’t all speak at once like last time. Don, what’s the progress with Biden.”

Don: “He hasn’t got it.”

Vlad: “Why not?”

Don: “He’s taking precautions.”

Vlad: “But you’ve lifted the lock down like I told you.”

Don: “Yes of course.”

Vlad: “Why didn’t he drink the bleach?”

Don: “However, Kim claimed he was testing the theory.”

Xi: “Numbskull”

Vlad: “No need for insults Xi.”

Xi: “Sorry Vlad.”

Vlad “Don?”

Don: “I’m not allowed to mention bleach again.”

Vlad: “By whom?”

Don: “Ivanka, she is upset that there is no toilet cleaner left in the White House.”

Xi: (laughing) “Another shortage in USA?”

Don: “Yes, but since we stopped Rudi writing confessions on Toilet paper that situation has improved.”

Vlad: “Small victories.”

Don: “Yes Vlad, I am planning on mentioning at today’s TV briefing.”

All: “No more briefings!!!!!”

After 30 minutes of ring tones and 12 menu options, the White House switchboard puts a call through.

“Twitter help desk, how can I help?”

“Stop deleting my Tweets.”

“I’m sorry, sir, I need to ask some security questions first. Can I get your name and Twitter ID?

“The real Donald Trump”

Sound of lines being transferred. Additionally,

“Twitter help desk, how may I help you? Please answer in a clear voice after I run through the selections. You are two thousand and eighty four in the queue. If your call is about Vladimir Putin, please press 1 or say yes after the tone. Beep.

“Vald? Why Vlad?”

“You are now 3465 in the queue; if your call is about Vladimir Putin, please press 1 or say yes after the tone.”

“No, I mean 2.”

“You’re through to President Xi’s hotline chat support queue; there are 7 million 419 thousand ahead in the line.

“I mean one I meant one.”

“Vlad’s line how can I help?”
“Someone is deleting my tweets. And I need my tweets.”

“Sir are your tweets in favour of or against our great leader Vladimir Putin?”

” Neither, look I’m the President of the United States and I will ban you if you don’t help.”

“Sir if you ban us you won’t be able to tweet.”
“OK I won’t ban you I’ll just tweet that I will.”

“Sir, we will fact check that tweet and delete as needed.”

“Is there someone else I can talk to like a supervisor or someone?”

“One moment, Sir I’ll transfer you. “

“You’re through to President Xi’s hotline chat support queue there are 7 million 419 thousand ahead in the line wishing to verbally pass on Twitter congratulations to President Xi”

Dial tone.