Wandering about a Wonder in Wonderful Grammar!

I’m wondering or wandering about which wonder to wander about. If I carry on wondering I might speculate or ponder as well, or I could amble, stroll or peruse around, into, or near a room rather than wandering in. If I wonder too much I’ll be too concerned to be more than two minutes late for the Wonder’s opening time. It may take two wonders before I too wander into the correct vicinity to see the wandering tourists gaze in wonder at the Wonders.

To get the right wandering use whilst wondering if I have used the correct to, too or two and not edited properly, or just not noticed as the grammar checker fails to pick up which wonder or wander is the right one to use too. Their, the grammar programmers, collective failure in spotting that they’re making the usual mistakes over there, has nothing to do with American English or English English, just the sheer inability of this author to wonder whether he meant wander or wonder, especially when the sentence could mean either.

“Maybe, he wonders/wanders, he should wonder/wander more.”

Delete as applicable

If I bought some lessons they could be brought into my limited skill set along with all the other common errors of misused words, split infinitives, punctuation and formatting errors, or hopefully I could, right away, just write something compelling enough that no one knows which night or knight I might mean. And, I should not start sentences, let alone paragraphs, except in dialogue, with a conjunction like and. But, you often see them used and the grammar checkers don’t correct that.

I’ve just done it twice and, “Don’t abbreviate,” it’s said, “except in dialogue.” Should that full stop really be a period and should it be inside the speech marks or outside. Should it be single quotes or double for speech?

Maybe I should just write and get a publisher and editor to make it right for me, then I can win the Booker prize with almost no punctuation (Wolf Hall) or be short listed (Umbrella) or maybe I should let my readers just read but not necessarily about reeds.

I’m going to wander off now and wonder where you are wandering about, wondering what I am on about?