{"id":1371,"date":"2020-06-18T08:12:36","date_gmt":"2020-06-18T07:12:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/phenweb.wordpress.com\/?p=1371"},"modified":"2026-10-07T15:05:55","modified_gmt":"2026-10-07T14:05:55","slug":"one-morning-in-the-office-take-10","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/phenweb.co.uk\/es\/one-morning-in-the-office-take-10\/","title":{"rendered":"One Morning In The Office Part 10"},"content":{"rendered":"

One Morning In The Office Part 10 is a satire produced several years ago. The thread about the Twitter\/X feed of @realDonaldTrump first appeared and formed part of Goodreads’ full comments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"One<\/picture><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Zoom Video Conference – hacked recording…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vlad: “Are we all here?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xi: “Yes Comrade Chairman, I mean friend.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Assad: “Where’s Kim?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xi: “He’s on mute again”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vlad: “Permanently?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xi: “No one knows.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don: “Hey Xi, like the hat and full protective face mask – I thought the fake virus was over in China?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xi: “It is but I like wearing it Don, I see you have your usual baseball cap.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don: “It’s a great hat for a great…”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vlad: “Stop the crap about hats everyone. This is serious.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Group: “Sorry Vlad…”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Assad: “But Vlad you told us to get hew hats.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vlad: “Assad you numbskull I said a new hard hat for the air raids next week.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Assad: “What air raids?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vlad: “The ones Erdogan is arranging .”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Assad: “But we are all friends now.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vlad: “We have to keep COVID off the news.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don: “Fake news.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vlad: “Not now Don.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don: “Sorry Vlad.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vlad: “Agenda gentlemen agenda and don’t all speak at once like last time. Don, what’s the progress with Biden.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don: “He hasn’t got it.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vlad: “Why not?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don: “He’s taking precautions.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vlad: “But you’ve lifted the lock down like I told you.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don: “Yes of course.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vlad: “Why didn’t he drink the bleach?” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don: “However, Kim claimed he was testing the theory.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xi: “Numbskull”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vlad: “No need for insults Xi.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xi: “Sorry Vlad.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vlad “Don?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don: “I’m not allowed to mention bleach again.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vlad: “By whom?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don: “Ivanka, she is upset that there is no toilet cleaner left in the White House.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xi: (laughing) “Another shortage in USA?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don: “Yes, but since we stopped Rudi writing confessions on Toilet paper that situation has improved.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vlad: “Small victories.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don: “Yes Vlad, I am planning on mentioning at today’s TV briefing.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All: “No more briefings!!!!!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After 30 minutes of ring tones and 12 menu options, the White House switchboard puts a call through. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Twitter help desk, how can I help?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Stop deleting my Tweets.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I’m sorry, sir, I need to ask some security questions first. Can I get your name and Twitter ID?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“The real Donald Trump”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sound of lines being transferred. Additionally, <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Twitter help desk, how may I help you? Please answer in a clear voice after I run through the selections. You are two thousand and eighty four in the queue. If your call is about Vladimir Putin, please press 1 or say yes after the tone. Beep. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Vald? Why Vlad?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“You are now 3465 in the queue; if your call is about Vladimir Putin, please press 1 or say yes after the tone.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“No, I mean 2.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“You’re through to President Xi’s hotline chat support queue; there are 7 million 419 thousand ahead in the line.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I mean one I meant one.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Vlad’s line how can I help?”
“Someone is deleting my tweets. And I need my tweets.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Sir are your tweets in favour of or against our great leader Vladimir Putin?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

” Neither, look I’m the President of the United States and I will ban you if you don’t help.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Sir if you ban us you won’t be able to tweet.”
“OK I won’t ban you I’ll just tweet that I will.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Sir, we will fact check that tweet and delete as needed.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Is there someone else I can talk to like a supervisor or someone?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“One moment, Sir I’ll transfer you. “<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“You’re through to President Xi’s hotline chat support queue there are 7 million 419 thousand ahead in the line wishing to verbally pass on Twitter congratulations to President Xi”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dial tone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One Morning In The Office Part 10 is a satire produced several years ago. The thread about the Twitter\/X feed of @realDonaldTrump first appeared and formed part of Goodreads’ full comments. Zoom Video Conference – hacked recording… Vlad: “Are we all here?” Xi: “Yes Comrade Chairman, I mean friend.” Assad: “Where’s Kim?” Xi: “He’s on […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,888],"tags":[199,298,829],"class_list":["post-1371","post","type-post","status-publish","format-aside","hentry","category-commentary-blogs","category-one-morning-in-the-office-satire","tag-donald-trump","tag-goodreads","tag-xi","post_format-post-format-aside"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t